Toilet Paper Wedding Dress

Who knew you could make a nice looking wedding dress out of toilet paper?  Cheap-Chick-Weddings.com has been holding contests were contestants make wedding dresses out of toilet paper for the last few years.  In the picture above you can see the winner for 2010.  They’ve got plenty more images from the same contest and previous years.  Amazing…

Video Taped on the Toilet!

I’ve really neglected this blog recently, and the tone has been way too serious.  I realize I must get back to the subject of toilets, reading on the toilet, and toilet talk…or at least things that you might be interested in while sitting on the toilet.  I’m going to start now, and hope to do better in the future.

So what’s with the sad girl above?  Well, apparently she was video taped while using the toilet.  That’s not nice.  But neither is drunk driving, asstard!  If you drive drunk, expect to get video taped while you’re on the toilet.  The end.

Interested in more toilet news?  I thought so.  The Vancouver Sun has a report about a toilet lid killer who is going to try to claim self defense.  That’s not so funny.  The Wall Street Journal blog has a story about a company that expects to sell toilet paper online.  And in South Africa, they apparently need to make the walls surrounding toilets bulletproof, otherwise you may get shot when you’re on the pooper!  In this article, a lady was rightfully pretty pissed that she was unable to use the public toilet.

So there it is, your toilet news for today.  Check back soon for much more toilet talk!

When I registered this domain, ReadingOnTheToilet.com, I did it purely because I thought it was funny and could make a good blog name.  I don’t read on the toilet and have no real interest in toilets.  So what I discovered yesterday was both troubling and mildly fascinating in a disgusting kind of way.  Plenty of people are utterly obsessed with toilets and activities related to toilets!  Let me explain…

While writing yesterday’s blog post I used the Wordtracker keyword volume tool to see what keywords people used to search for toilet paper holders.  The #1 searched for phrase related to toilets according to Wordtracker is michael toilet arrest.  I thought this might have something to do with Michael Jackson…but quickly discovered that George Michael was arrested in a public bathroom for drug use…whatever.  Why 7,476 people a month search for this, I have no idea.

The second and third most searched for phrases related to toilets was a much bigger surprise for me:

stories of a toilet slave
human toilet mistress

What in the world is that about? If these phrases would be the 1000th, or even 100th results, fine.  But #2 and #3?  Are there really eight thousand searches a month for these terms?  Apparently so.  You probably don’t want to know what a toilet slave or human toilet mistress is.  But in case you do, and you don’t want to see truely nasty pictures, here is the text only introduction.  Like I said, if there were 5 searches per month for this stuff, I could possibly understand it.  But 8,000 searches from people interested in eating shit!  Whoa now, we live in a very crazy world.  This make the woman featured here seem totally normal!

#4 is girls on the toilet, with nearly 3,000 searches per month.  Does anyone really want to see anybody else on the toilet?  Apparently so, because #8 is toilet cam, and #10 and #11 are toilet bowl cam and  hidden camera toilet.  Don’t even search for that.

#6 had me a bit stumped: toilet humiliation, ~2000 searches per month.  There is an industry for movies and pictures of toilet humiliation!

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people!?!

I like the Ultimate Toilet Blog.  It’s both entertaining and interesting.  Toilet-O-Rama is pretty funny too.  I even appreciate the occasional toilet joke from time to time.  But lord have mercy, you just don’t want to know what your fellow humans are doing!  One of my goals is to “limit human contact“.  After yesterday’s toilet search, I’m going to go full steam ahead with that one…

Rack & Roll

We’ve gone a little too far into politics lately, and away from reading on the toilet.  It’s time to get back to toilet talk!  What better way to start than with the best toilet paper holder in existence?  The people over at Rack and Roll have created the perfect, stylish solution for reading on the toilet.  They call it “the neat solution to a dirty habit“.  Instead of having a bunch of books and magazines sprawled out on top of your toilet, or getting soiled on the floor, you put them on a stainless steal rack next to the roll!  Awesome!  Here’s a close up of the rack:

The Rack

Enjoy!

Doggie Without Shoes

If either you have a dog or you know someone with a dog, then this post is for you.  As we all know, dogs pee and poo like all other humans.  Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately depending on your disposition, they don’t tend to do so on a toilet designed for humans.  There are LOTS of serious problems that may arise as a result of taking your dog outdoors to do his or her business. For instance, a kid could fall on your dog and break your dog’s leg.  Most dogs think kids are stupid, whether they admit it or not…and this is often true.  Kids are dangerous.  A dog owner may also worry about the environmental impact of either leaving or picking up his dog’s turds.  And people who don’t pick up their dog’s poo are likely to be called names or be put in a list of the 5 types of pet owners who don’t pick up dog shit!  While there’s not all that much we can do about dangerous kids, the environmental impact of dog turds, and rude people, we can do something about the serious problem of dirt in your house!

Dog Shoes

There’s nothing worse than going out in the rain to take your dog to lay a turd, only to have your K-9 friend walk into your house tracking mud and dirt.  You can leave your shoes at the door, but what about your dog?  Well, thanks to Vibram (maker of Five Fingers), we now have an excellent solution.  Dog shoes.  These suckers are a life saver.  When it’s raining or muddy outside, you can quickly strap these shoes on, take your dog to do his or her business, and take them off again before you enter your house.

Doggie with Shoes

I LOVE these dog shoes, and so does my dog!  Your dog might not be able to go to the toilet, much less read on one, but at least you can keep your house clean now after taking your dog out!

This is going to be the last post having to do with toilets for a while.  I just couldn’t pass this one up.  Where else but in Japan (the capital of space age toilets) does someone decide to print horror stories on toilet paper?

Well, it’s not as straight forward a question as you might think.  When most people ask “who invented the toilet” they probably mean “who invented the flush toilet”?  The most common answer you’ll find on the web is Thomas Crapper!  Crapper didn’t actually invent the toilet though…he just made it better by inventing the “ballcock“.

Interestingly enough, the flush toilet has been around in various forms since at least 3000 BC!  They were used in the Indus Valley Civilizations and by the Romans and Egyptians.  Here’s a picture of some old Roman wall toilets:

Toilets have come a LONG way since the days of the Romans though.  Believe it or not my mom got this toilet seat for Mother’s Day after falling in love with them on a trip to Japan.  So it’s not even easy to answer “who invented the flushable toilet”?  Even squat toilets can be flushable:

Next time someone asks you who invented the flush toilet, you can tell them it wasn’t Thomas Crapper, but some unknown person many thousands of years ago.

Being that this is ReadingOnTheToilet.com, we’ve got to have at least a few posts about toilets, reading, and reading on toilets!  Although I don’t actually read on the toilet, I was once told by a reliable source that reading on the toilet can cause problems with your sphincter.  The Hemorrhoid Fact Sheet says reading on the toilet will make hemorrhoids worse, and several of these people seem to agree.  Nevertheless, many people actually seem to enjoy it!

If you’re looking for reading material, here’s a list of the top 10 entertaining things to read on the toilet at work, if you don’t mind your co-workers wondering what the hell you’re doing in the bathroom.  The Poop Report has plenty of other recommended toilet activities and is well worth the read.  And if you’re wondering what celebrities look like on the toilet, you’re not alone.